We'll be arriving at our destination uhh...someday.

"In the event that the cabin loses air pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the panels above. Secure your own mask before assisting others."

Griefy people are actually a pretty helpful bunch, at least the ones I've met. They help, because they want to, not because they have to. I want to help for the same reason I wanna eat a whole pan of lemon squares or binge-watch South Park or set stuff on fire: it'll feel good. We can't help ourselves, so we like to keep busy somehow. And other people who are grieving seem like prime candidates for our kind of blind-leading-the-blind help.

But like on an airplane, if we want to help someone else, we have to help ourselves first. If you see someone passing out from oxygen deprivation, and help them before yourself, it's just gonna end with two folks passed out instead of one. No use trying to tell someone how to transcend grief if you're still in shambles or denial. Although, if you are in denial after a significant loss, you may think you're doing fine. Look for clues in your own life, such as: eating whole pans of lemon squares, binge-watching South Park, and setting stuff on fire.

My parents can probably attest to the fact that, since my wife died, I'm being very self-caring, self-focused, self-indulgent or just plain selfish. My grief groups would probably not want me to use the word 'selfish,' so don't tell them I told you. But I don't even care if it is selfish. I've never dealt with anything this traumatic before, and if caring how I feel over how you feel makes me selfish, I'm not gonna stop. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to antagonize. Just trying to make sure I get the air I need before I pass the fuck out. 

"Please check the upper compartment as you exit, as the contents of your mind my have shifted during the trip."