As we loved to reference South Park together, my wife promised me she would never leave me alone on this crappy goddamn planet fulla hippies. Yet here I am, and there she went. When I have to deal with folks I'd rather not, or tackle an aggravating task, it pisses me off that she's not there to deal with it with me, or at least have her to come home to. I moved after she died, and had to change over my car registration. Without my wife there to people-watch with me, the DMV just isn't as fun.
After the crappiest day at work (no, the customer is NOT always right) I could always look forward to day's end when we would at least be together. With my wife, there was a baseline of happiness. Whatever ups and downs the days brought, we always leveled out, content in togetherness. Now my baseline is awful. At the end of the day now, it's just grief. It's like I'm in a nursing home that just switched from daily filet mignon to salisbury steak (assume for the purpose of this simile that I like steak, which I dont, although my wife loved it). I can't go to another nursing home: my kids are paying the bills. And the Chinese delivery has my number blocked cuz I just call up and complain about not having the filet anymore.
Maybe I always had salisbury steak, and my wife made it taste like mignon, simply by sitting next to me and eating with me. Our life had a lot of struggles, but they seemed so trivial with her by my side. She would be happy to listen to me bitch as I pick gristle out of my teeth, and laugh it all off with me. And I was there to listen to her bitch about her getting a well-done steak when she ordered rare. Now, all I can do is bitch in blog form, and if I don't make sure it's at least a little amusing, I don't really expect anyone will bother listening.
Thank you for listening, and if you laugh, I'm absolutely flattered. It means the world to me these days. I miss my wife's laugh so much. If I was hearing it, that often meant we were listening to each other, and I was likely laughing, too. Always end on a punchline.
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I hope you brought enough comment to share with the whole class!