It's weird how I can see myself fading in and out of shock. Like earlier today was pretty rough, strong emotions, it was rainy out. I went for a drive, mostly because of the rain. I like the aesthetic of the rain and the gamble of the slicker roads. But now, I'm at home trying to organize my thoughts and I can't feel anything. Back in shock. I'm typing live from shock! Hi, world! I think I can relate to you right now.
Shock kinda forces you into the present. It's like watching TV. Yeah, there's shit going on in the world. But right now, TV is happening. So shush, I'm tryin' to hear the TV. Shock says "be quiet, grief, I'm trying to be."
Don't get me wrong, I love to be wracked with the agony of having watched my wife die, but hear me out about shock. Sometimes, every odd Thursday or Friday, whether or not I've been crying all day, I can feel, with the shock, a tiny glimmer of optimism.
I didn't have one of those today.
But they do happen.
I tried leaving a comment earlier. didn't do it right.
ReplyDeletewant you to know that your writing and humor has even been able to bring rays of less than, well,.. less than dark moments- even laughter.
Thanks.
take care of you.
Barb @ WW.
This means so much to me to hear. Thank you. I hope to increase the laughter over time.
DeleteYou have courage.
ReplyDeleteCourage isn't what I thought it meant when I was younger. For me, I think choosing creativity instead of self-destruction is what courage is right now. Thank you so much.
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