Soooo...yeah, I really miss the uhh...physical aspects of my marriage, if you get my nudge-nudge wink-wink drifty-drift. Is it getting too personal to say me and my wife did the sex? Surprise! I'm a man, and I have no problem admitting I even just miss cuddling. For chrissakes, we would watch Netflix everynight on a loveseat: I freakin' miss having her thigh resting alongside mine during "Oddities" or "South Park."
Not to brag or anything (totally bragging here), but after eleven years together, my wife still got butterflies in her stomach when I held her hand. Which, to me, is an incentive to hold her hand even after eleven years holding that same hand. Now I can only hold hands with myself. Which is awkward for both of us. And I am getting so tired of taking myself to bed every night.
And the worst part is that I have zero desire to pursue anything physical with anyone else. I can't have what I really want and I don't want to just settle for whatever's available. Like when Harold and Kumar drove past all the McDonaldses and Taco Bells and Hooterses because only White Castle could slake the craving. Except, for me, 'Wife' has closed its last franchise. I'm hungry and I can't get a bite to hit the spot. If you get the winky-face metaphor.
P.S.
If you're reading this, hi mom!
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