So Patton Oswalt, a favorite comedian of mine since I was totally, like, a tween, is coming to MY hometown!!! IEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Imagine how a twelve-year-old girl would react if Nick Jonas or that guy from One Direction with the flippy hair was coming to her town, and now imagine that same reaction by a chubby 27-year-old guy with a ginger neckbeard. And because he is a widower (just like me!!!), after I bought my ticket, I cried for like twenty minutes. You know. Hormones. So naturally, I figured I had to try and spin this funny. I mean, they say comedy equals tragedy plus time, so really, the joke's already in there! Wait for it...
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So can I tell you how shocked I am that Patton Oswalt is coming? One, because it's only been like five months since his wife died, and two, because my home town is not....one of those cities...that...people come to. But I'm so excited! If my parents embarrass me, I will just die. And nobody better say one single word about the first time I talked about Patton Oswalt's wife's death. Nobody's gonna ruin this show for me, or I will just scream!
...So. Time has passed. Is the death of a spouse funny now? I think I heard a few sniggers from way in the back? No? Just crickets? Eh, it'll hit you on your way to work tomorrow and you'll laugh so hard you have a fender bender. Now, I just have to decide what to do for when I go. Should I bake him some cookies? I am definitely wearing that slutty skirt mom hates...
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I hope you brought enough comment to share with the whole class!