Tuesday, October 4, 2016

2016: Year of the Fog

There's two fogs in grief. One is the fog of shock. That's where most of us grieflings were for a good few months or so after the death. Shock is a survival thing, it's our mind shutting out the bad stuff so we can, you know, not die from it. The other for is a fog of loneliness. That fog doesn't protect you, it just drives you up the wall.

When I think I'm doing well in my grief, something small can trigger my loneliness, and even crying doesn't make it go away. I am a pretty extreme case, though, where I went from being a lonely teenager, to an 11-year relationship that went quite codependent, and now I'm back to the loneliness. I've said it before, I suck at keeping myself company.


Shock fog makes you do things like sleep, and watch Netflix, and bullshit small-talk about politics. Loneliness fog makes you do things like draft online dating profiles over and over, and hate your friends when they ignore you for a few minutes, and change your masturbation habits. Loneliness fog can only be cured by time, and positive human interaction. But for grieflings, positive human interaction is...complicated.

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