Later this month is mine and my wife's anniversary, and, despite the sitcom stereotypes, I never forgot it. But this year will be decidedly sadder than last. Right now, I have what they call anticipatory grief! I'm upset now, because I'm assuming I'll be upset then. Which is a fairly safe assumption, I should think. Although I might end up just back into shock for the day and it could pass in a lovely, blurry fog.
I've said before how I'm not big on sunshine and summer. Our anniversary was really the only reason I had to look forward to the mosquito-y times of the year. Surprisingly enough, I'm not big on Labor Day: I don't even get a tree or hang lights. And friends sending me pictures of their family as Labor Day cards? Ugh. I just want the weather and leaves to change and bring me from summer into autumn because...well...actually October is when my wife died. Shit. I guess the anniversary of her death can't be as bad as the actual death was! It's something!
In my grief groups, I've been told that anticipatory feelings can be worse than the actual day. I've also been told that the second year can be worse than the first year, because the shock and fog start to lift and grief feels more real. So regardless of how the milestones go, there's something to look forward to! I think the lesson is to focus on the now: if I'm not too overly sad at the moment, just try to enjoy that. I can articulate the lesson, but actually putting it into practice? I think it'd be easier to find myself a Labor Day tree.
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I hope you brought enough comment to share with the whole class!