Thursday, August 25, 2016

Plan to fail

In grief, if there is a milestone or anniversary or holiday you're dreading: plan for it. Let me give you an example. Just, you know, the first thing that comes to mind, I guess, is my anniversary tomorrow. Today, technically, but I'm not counting it until I go to bed and wake up. 'My anniversary' would've been my seven-year marriage anniversary. We got married on the five-year anniversary of when we started dating, so it also would've been twelve years together. You could say I'm dreading it.

So, according to the suggestion, I have plans. I'm lucky to have a grief group meeting scheduled tomorrow. Also, I'm meeting one of my wife's best friends at the park I got married in. Guess I'm going to cry in a public park tomorrow! Isn't that special? The good news is that judgmental douchebags rarely frequent nature and beauty, so I'm not worried.

Judgment regardless, tomorrow (today, really, as I said), has had me trembling for weeks. How do you close the book on an eleven-year tradition? Like this! It's just this easy! Or you don't. You plan something entirely new, so the old is preserved in a meaningful way. That's how you do it! Like it's easy or something.


Whatever. As long as I don't self-destruct, everything is going to go as well as can be expected. Plan out how not to self-destruct. That's all what matters, says I.

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